Relationship Statuses Are Just a Steaming Load of Crap

And here's why. A hundred years ago, people generally were virgins until marriage. So if George went out on a date with Betty, he wasn't cheating on her if he went on a date with Martha a couple days later. Single people used dating not as a scheme for getting laid, but as a way of getting to know each other well enough to decide if marriage ...(and then baby-making, etc.) was a good idea. So there was no reason for anyone to be suspicious or jealous before marriage, because "cheating on" was a term that only applied to married people who were having "affairs."

Then there was the sexual revolution, and everything just got screwed up and confusing for single people. Dating was suddenly about having sex, not learning about each other and making friends. So now if George starts dating Betty, he has to be her "boyfriend," and she's his "girlfriend," and if two nights after he bangs Betty, he goes out with Martha, he's "cheating on" Betty. So he's having an "affair," then. So why not simplify things? Just eliminate words like BOYFRIEND and GIRLFRIEND and the status "in a relationship." Because if George is humping Betty and they're IN A RELATIONSHIP, they're just "married," but without the license, the ring or the "til death do us part" commitment. They're informally married until they get tired of each other. And then they're "divorced." Because really, if someone has a Facebook status of IN A RELATIONSHIP, that means they're not available for "dating," otherwise they'd be "cheating," which isn't really much different than just being "temporarily married."

The "it's complicated" status is kind of funny. It can mean anything except "single and available." So it's just another creative way of saying "temporarily married, but without the license or the commitment." For example, it could mean "married temporarily, but don't like it, but I'm emotionally attached to this moron and hoping someone will rescue me from my nightmare by riding in on a white stretch limo and having an affair with me." So IT'S COMPLICATED!

Now that I've said all that, I really think everything would be much simpler for us single people if there were only four statuses: Single, Engaged, Married, and Free Again.